A Community is Made of Men and Women

Men's prayer space/our Arabic classroom in Carrolton, Texas.

Men’s prayer space/our Arabic classroom in Carrolton, Texas.

As much as I love Vancouver, there are moments when I want to move. There are moments when I miss spaces where the educational experience of men and women is equal, such as the SeekersHub in Toronto, where I always felt welcome, and never felt like my gender was a barrier to furthering my Islamic education.  I miss interfaith prayer spaces such as the MultiFaith Centre (and other prayer spaces) at the University of Toronto that were physically beautiful, and did not barricade women in a corner.  And more recently, there are moments when I want to return to Dallas, where I spent a month in a mosque learning classical Arabic grammar this summer, and where class was held in the main prayer space, and structured in a way that men and women were on opposite sides of the room, and equally able to learn from our teacher. Aside from the learning benefits, knowing your teacher means that you can model their behaviour. From the ways a teacher interacts with you, you learn what appropriate gender interaction looks like, and can extend those principles to the rest of your life. Knowing your teacher means that you have someone to ask questions and seek advice when you are unsure what to do. It is essential.

In Vancouver however, we’re not there yet.

Two nights ago, the founder of the Bayyinah Institute (the same institute that offers the Arabic course I did in Dallas) came to Vancouver for a lecture on stories in the Qur’an. Though he wasn’t my teacher in Dallas, during one of our class days he came to help us review for an upcoming exam, and I was looking forward to a small way, reconnecting with what was a very special month of learning for me.

Unfortunately, I never heard him speak. The hall where the lecture was held was large, but the women were in a different, crowded space, with no video link. So after waiting for a bit and seeing if I could sit outside the lecture hall, my brother and I left. The teacher was surprised as well I think, and mentioned that ‘he wasn’t used to women not being in the same space, would do a Q and A session after the event with the female attendees, and would stay as long as women wanted him to stay.”

I appreciate his attempt to address an inequitable situation. But it’s not up to a guest teacher to find some way to include everyone; equity needs to be thought of at the outset of the planning process. To give an example from urban planning, when the floor plans of housing developments and community centres do not consider the needs of the multiple communities and cultures, it is a message that only the dominant culture matters. When transit users with wheelchairs experience horrendous delays, poorly lit and dangerous transit stops, and systems that do not account for their needs, those barriers of access signal that their needs are not valued. We send messages about who does and does not belong in the ways we structure spaces and places.

As long the learning experience of women is not valued, the education of women, communities and families will suffer. As long as the learning experience of women is not valued, it becomes difficult to invite friends and colleagues who may be interested in learning more about Islam and wish to fill in their own gaps of knowledge. As long as the learning experience of women is not valued, it sounds hollow to talk about how gender equity is something inherent to Islam.

And so, rather than running away to another city, below are a few thoughts and suggestions on how to create better spaces. These are not new ideas, but they make a real impact.

1) If you only have one space available that is large enough for all your attendees, have the men and women share that space, and set up tables that are side by side.

You can have an aisle separating both sides of the room for ease of movement. If you don’t have a classroom available and you’re in a mosque, use the men’s prayer room.  In Dallas, the women’s section of the mosque was on the same floor as the men’s section with a one way mirror. During our evening classes, if anyone from the larger community wished to sit separately, they could still see into the class easily, but nobody could see them. (95% of attendees sat in the main section of the mosque though). A few years ago I was on a study trip called the Rihla, and spent a few weeks with teachers from the US and UK in Saudi Arabia. We sat on the floor in our classes, on opposite ends of the room. In Toronto there is a week long retreat held annually with incredible teachers from around the world, and again, that event happens through side by side seating, with a section in the middle of the room for families who wish to sit together.

2) If you are designing a space and you’d like a partition, make it subtle. At the SeekersHub in Toronto, one of my favourite spaces to learn, the men and women sat on opposite sides of the room, the teachers were at the front of the room, and there was a bookshelf in the middle. The room was equally divided, you could see the teacher, but the students on the other side of the room couldn’t see you. It was a beautiful set-up.

3) When you see an uninclusive space, act as an ally. It’s not up to women alone to advocate for inclusive spaces. In our family, we only go to events where I can hear and experience the event properly, and my Dad and brother are my strongest allies in bringing up issues of access. The teachers that I value most: my teacher in Dallas, my teacher at the Hub in Toronto, and other teachers I’ve learnt from in other settings, often speak out about how communities need to view the inclusion and involvement of women differently. The students I studied with at the University of Toronto were men and women who cared about equity, and if I was ever in a situation where I felt uncomfortable, there were lots of people who noticed the same dynamics and worked to address them. It is alienating to be the only person advocating for your learning.

4) Have an ongoing study of the life of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. Sometimes spaces are segregated in harmful ways because we aren’t necessarily familiar with the ways women were nurtured historically in Islam. But when we study the life and character of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the ways in which he created a community in which men and women were equally valued, and the contributions, dignity and independence of his wife Khadijah, the courage of his daughters, the beauty of other members of his family and community, it is clear that gender equity are part of the Islamic tradition. One great learning resource to learn more is the Qalam Institute’s Podcast on the Prophet’s Biography, which goes into the Prophet’s life in a lot of detail.

5) Support organizations that care about their female students. If you can’t find inclusive spaces, still continue to learn. I’ve been remiss this year in organising regular study circles with others, but this is something I hope to do in upcoming months.  SeekersGuidance is a place with wonderful online courses, the Muslim Chaplaincy at the University of Toronto publishes its lectures and classes on its SoundCloud page, and both of these resources are wonderful resources to share, support and learn from.

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9 thoughts on “A Community is Made of Men and Women

  1. Saajida says:

    Thanks for sharing this – it is true. Proper facilities are sometimes not given enough attention to accommodate Muslim women. It’s not uncommon here in South Africa but it is slowly becoming less of an issue. Inshaa Allah, conditions will improve and both men and women will be accommodated for equally, in the near future, in every location.

    I listen to the lectures of both the founder of Bayyinah Institute and SeekersHub and they’re so inspiring and beautiful. May Allah bless them abundantly for the work that they do and the knowledge that they spread. Aameen.

  2. midia hassan says:

    Also important to mention that women teachers exist. that is also an important aspect of gender equality. Women scholars are no less than male ones and should be given spaces to teach. Women students need to be the allies and advocates in this situation, as well as male scholars.
    In the Sunnah of Rasoul Allah sal Allahu alayhi wasalam, actually it was not that common for men and women to be in the same learning space, but they did both get to learn. Having dignity and independence as you mention Sayyida Khadija alayha assalam had, does not necessarily mean she was with men in social/educational situations….i don’t know of a single example where she was…

    • Umm Medina says:

      Your point about female scholars is great, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. But just because you don’t know of a single example where Sayyida Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, where she was with men in social/educational situations doesn’t mean she was not. At the time in Mecca the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, taught people in his home. It stands to reason that his family would also attend. As for your comment about the Sunnah, there are plenty of examples of women and men being in the same space to learn and pray. That’s how we have women narrating from the Prophet, peace be upon him, and women correcting the Khalifah Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, on matters of fiqh, etc. because they were right there and not in some “women-only” setting.

  3. annie says:

    In Prophet Muhammad S.A.W’s times women had equal opportunity of learning.
    The way women are being treated by the muslim world specially in the Asian society is one of the biggest reasons of the declining of the ummah.If the women are not given the opportunity of proper islamic education,how do we expect her to raise better human beings.This is a very sad truth that our community is deprived of true knowledge and we are now suffering immensely. All signs lead to the end of time!!!!!

  4. Masha’Allah amazing insight and thoughts. I live in Dallas, tx and have been to the Carrolton Mosque a few times (during the Qur’an Intensive this year as well). Most Mosques here in Dallas are very active in promoting an equal learning opportunity for both genders. I’m originally from New York though, and know exactly what you mean by not good accommodation for sisters. Unfortunately due to the culture and generation differences in some cities, this problem will continue to exist. Hopefully with more and more awareness raised (like this article here) we can see a positive change insha’Allah.

    • Shagufta says:

      JazakAllah khayr for reading and commenting! Nice to meet someone from Texas – everything I saw and experienced in Carrolton and at other mosques was so beautiful and impressive. Dallas is such a warm and giving community, and I’m so grateful for the time I spent there this summer! Insha’Allah beautiful environmnents continue to develop and spread.

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